Friday, July 26, 2013

Star Hunter (21st Anniversary Edition)

They descended via jetpack through the forest of tall towers that encrusts the sprawling cityscape of Gastroux VII, the thrumming financial heart of the Wxx Sector.

The buildings -- most of them 300 stories tall, each populated with thousands of workers -- were a kaleidoscope of green polished windows, image upon image reflecting on their glassy exteriors. And if you were to look closely, you might have spied within the bristling spires the distorted sight of the two men as they piloted slowly downward.

"War," Callous intoned. "What's it good for? Quite a lot, actually."

He was explaining to his cohort, the ridiculously strapping William Walkman IX, how the Staccano clans' legendary internecine conflict had given birth to such wonderful innovations as Phaserous Energy, Liquified Missile Gelatin, and Granulated Thermonuclear Dust Particulate.

"All of that sounds bad," remarked William.

"Oh, it most definitely is, replied Callous. "What I meant to say is that war has been good to me."

This highlighted the fundamental difference between the two men. William, who descended from a long and prestigious line of space heroes, had time after time exhibited courage, valor -- and, yes, violence -- to clear the galaxy of rotten scum. Callous, meanwhile, was a mercenary creature. For him, violence was the whole point. It's what got him out of bed in the morning, sometimes literally.

William frowned. His relationship with a guy like Callous was an uneasy one -- but he didn't have much of a choice. He needed Callous to lead him to Jin-Wang-Deluxe, a notoriously ruthless triad boss who was rigging the immense money markets in Gastroux.

The problem is that Callous, in previous times, had actually been in Jin-Wang's employ -- first as an assassin and then as a security specialist. In fact, Callous designed the incredibly sophisticated defense perimeter that surrounded Jin-Wang-Deluxe's residence. This was the same apparatus that William was now asking Callous to disarm.

"Jin-Wang," said Callous, with a mixture of fear and respect, "is a real badass. He has developed a high tolerance for mercury vapor, which he pumps into his ventilation system. He bathes in a highly-charged halide soup. He eats a rare crystalline form of astatine."

William was unfazed. "Just take me to him," he responded simply.

They landed in the middle of an empty street and powered down their jetpacks. "I will," Callous said. "But first..." Callous trailed off as he looked down the street.

"First?" William inquired.

"First and most importantly" said Callous, "there's a great shredded beef joint around here somewhere. Let's get some lunch."

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